This blog is not going to be well written. It is not going to flow and it probably will not even make sense. I do not really know how to start and I have no idea where it will end.
There is an image that I cannot seem to get out of my head.
It goes like this:
Jenna, Thomas, and I were walking away from Charles and John one day kind of disheartened by their refusal to drop their alcohol. We could all feel the weight of God's broken heart falling on our shoulders. We know that God has so much in store for them. We also understand the power that alcohol holds on so many people's lives. We have been told so many times that beer makes life's problems fade away. Beer makes reality disappear as they fade into an easier escape.
Anyways, the picture is this.
Jenna could not stand it any more and in all of the boldness of Christ she left Thomas and I in hopes of really breaking through with these guys. I could see her from the distance as she knelt down on her knees in front of John and Charles. Unafraid of their homelessness, she became their friend. She got down on their level and looked at both of them through their eyes and into their souls. I watched her from a distance as she showed them her breaking heart. As tears flooded down her face she pleaded with them to let go of the lifestyle that has been pulling them down for so long. With every ounce of heart and energy that she had, she showed these guys the gospel of Christ. I could see John wiping the tears off her face as the Holy Spirit filled the bridge that they sat on.
This picture shows me what it means to Love Deeply and Fervently. As I watched Jenna and John and Charles....I felt the weight lift off of my shoulders. Not because John and Charles came off of the bottle....because to our knowledge they haven't....but because I knew that through Jenna we were doing all that we could do to show them the truth. I knew that God was using the hands that she laid on them, the feet that carried her there, the knees that she bent in front of them, the mouth that she boldly opened, and every single one of her tears to show these guys that Jesus means it when he says he loves them.
Then there is a second image that is stuck in my head. It looks something like this:
The inside of our van.
It is stuck in my head because for the last few days we have not been able to pull ourselves out of it. We are tired. Really tired. We have both verbally said that we have grown weary in doing good and are ready to have consistent showers and a comfy couch for a few days.
Somehow these two images come together in this verse. "But you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering..." 2 Tim 4:5-6
We know that we are called to rest. And we are taking that time now. But we also know the crazy joy that comes from knowing that we are pouring ourselves out as drink offerings unto the Lord and into the lives of the people like John and Charles. We do not have to do anything but yield to God and He blows our minds up with images like these.
So....I don't know.....this is what the Lord is showing us. So please, pray for John and Charles. Pray for us. Pray for God to do what only He can do. Pray hard.
This is the fancy ending....