Screaching halts are scary. It seems like there are so many times when I feel like I am coasting down the road of life, knodding my head at everything around me, and then BOOM!...I'm dazed, confused, and holding my head feeling a severe case of whiplash. Why did it stop all of a sudden? And, its not like the road that I was traveling on was easy...not at all...I was just starting to get use to it. Everything was starting to look familiar and whether it was hard or easy didn't matter. The road was just starting to become home...literally.
We have been traveling for over a year now. Going just as we felt led by God. Then we got to Tacoma and it felt like all of a sudden, everything slowed down. One minute we are eating canned tuna out of the van and the next thing we know we have a stove in a short-term lease to an apartment. Is this still van, GO?
We think so. It may actually be the most beautiful part of going. Going, until he says stay..and staying until he says go. We are strangers on this planet, placed here for only a short amount of time. Our jobs are not to build our own little kingdoms on earth. Our job is to build a kingdom that lasts for eternity...and to invite the rest of this world to join us there. "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal, but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and thieves do not break in and steal." (Matt 6:20). "For whoever will save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world yet forfeit his life?" (Mark 8:36).
And that is basically what this whole trip feels like. Like we have "lost control," of our lives. We are going with no clue about what tomorrow brings. To the world we look like idiots as we walk refusing to take the blindfolds off. It feels like a supernaturally controlled fall....if you could even imagine. We put our hands to the plow, and though it is tempting to look back we force ourselves to "Go" forward (Luke 9:62)...even if "Go" means something different every day. We are not going to a destination on this planet. We are not vanGO because we constantly have to be physically moving our van. We are going to an eternal heaven. Which means we have no clue what the route looks like on earth. So we literally can't be the navigators. We're just the crazy people who are following the seemingly crazy leader, Jesus. Just when we thought we were starting to take a small grip on our lives, getting use to the road that we were on, God changed it all up on us again.
Does the whiplash hurt sometimes? Yeah. It feels like we are never going to have another "normal" day. But it is those spirit led whiplashes that are such great reminders...we need to trust our driver.