This short-term transition from living in a van and traveling to finding housing and staying is exciting but slightly overwhelming. We want to be good stewards of the time and money that God gives us. Just like Paul did in the last chapter of Acts, we want to pay for our living expenses in order for our time here in Tacoma to be an encouragement to the body and not a burden. We've been exhausting online applications and searching for the right living situation for two weeks.
It is a strangely refreshing feeling to be in similar shoes as the the rest of the world. We're having to find jobs that are scarce and cheap enough housing to be able to make ends meet. In a way it makes me feel "normal"...if that exists.
One of the best parts of living in a van is that we have been given into the hands of our God, completely. We are reliant upon Him, and him alone. We don't have the stress of "everyday life" because we know that we literally have no control over it anyways.
Before we moved into the van, we worked jobs and paid our way through life. Therefore, it was our tendency to think we were taking care of ourselves because we were "making" a living. Once we hit the road, we couldn't do anything ourselves or even get the impression that we could. Everything, from what we would be doing to how we would be eating, was/is completely from our Father. We've become like spoiled little kids. I was fortunate enough to spend my youngest years in a home where food just appeared on my plate, a roof was always over my head, and my main concern was to "eat, drink, and be merry." God has brought me back to this stage of life. Sure, this time around the burden of the world's salvation often overrides our happy-go-lucky child mentality but nonetheless, I have lived like a child being completely taken care of by my Father during this last year.
Despite the temptation to question what this new phase is going to look like and how we are going to "make" it work, I am overwhelmed with peace and contentment. The childlike expectation remains...I know my Father is going to provide like He always has. Yes, we are still taking all the steps we can- seeking employment and comparing apartment prices...but my heart is sitting at the table waiting for the food to appear. I am breathing in psalm 131,
"My heart is not proud O Lord, my eyes are not haughty; I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore."
God has brought us to a place of stability compared to our last year of inconsistency and put before us the opportunity to be independent and "live like the rest of the world." Still, I remain dependent on His provision and guidance. Like a child at ease against its mothers leg, so am I in my Fathers presence.